


love potion no. 9

by redcabooze



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Crushes, Fortune Telling, Idiots in Love, Love Potion/Spell, M/M, Magic, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:19:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28305180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redcabooze/pseuds/redcabooze
Summary: when spending the night at a travelling fair in their city, the boys find themselves face-to-face with a self-proclaimed witch. she offers to read their fortunes, and shows her wares in her tent - including, apparently, a love potion that ‘really works’. yeah, right. tom, matt, and tord decide to skip out, deeming her a fraud. edd, on the other hand, sticks around just a little while longer, his curiosity getting the better of him….not an au in regards to the 1992 movie.
Relationships: Edd/Matt (Eddsworld)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	love potion no. 9

**Author's Note:**

> i havent written for eddsworld in 80 years so you have to be nice to me

“I’m not getting you another candy floss just because you puked up the last one!”

Tom smacked Matt’s arm, just hard enough to sting, causing him to yelp. He pouted, rubbing his arm where it had been struck. “What am I gonna do later when I get hungry again?” Matt whined, brows screwing upward on his forehead. “It’s not my fault I don’t handle roller coasters well!”

“Oh, gosh, I dunno,” Tom started, tone heavy with sarcasm. “Maybe you could - hear me out, here, I know it sounds crazy - buy your own food with your own money that I know you have?” He snorted, kicking a rock on the sidewalk. “Also, literally nobody made you get on the coaster, so….”

“Maybe not,” Matt started right back, eyes narrowing. “But if you didn’t have an adult, they might not have let you ride, Tom!”

“Oh, you motherfucker, don’t you start - ”

Edd was barely listening to his friends argue, eyes perusing the various rides that lit up the night sky. Infighting or not, tonight was fun so far. He couldn’t remember the last time a fair had popped up anywhere near them, at least not one this affordable. The air was cool on his skin, and the crunch of autumn leaves under his sneakers left him feeling refreshed and peaceful. Even if Tom was about to choke Matt - oh, god damn it.

“Tom!” Edd spoke quickly, squeezing past Tord to press his body in between Tom and Matt, holding his arms out to force them apart. “Come on, that’s enough! No killing each other on the house outing. Wait until we get home, at least.” He pressed himself further back against Matt, holding his hands up in a defensive-protective stance against Tom, who still seemed to be blowing smoke out of his ears. If he wasn’t going to defend himself, Edd had to do something. Maybe, just maybe, it was also just an excuse to be pressed up against Matt’s chest. Matt’s firm, warm chest, and broad shoulders and sharp jawline, and fluffy hair and dorky smile and bright green eyes, and laugh that made Edd’s stomach feel warm and gooey and rough fingertips that made Edd go hot all over when they brushed his hand by accident.

...Maybe Edd had a little bit of a crush. Just a tad.

“Alright,” Tom snapped, finally waving his anger off. He huffed, storming off in a random direction. Tord was quick to follow him, clearly not wanting to be left behind. Edd peeled himself away from Matt’s frame, clearing his throat, only to feel his heart crawl out of his mouth when Matt’s hand met his shoulder and squeezed.

“Thanks,” he said quietly, grinning at him before brushing past to join the others, keeping a safe distance from Tom. Edd swallowed, nodding to nobody as he followed. This was fine. This was so very fine. Tonight was fun.

“Hey, guys.”

Tord, so it seemed, had found something that interested him, which, in and of itself, would have been enough to warrant concern. In all fairness, though, it did look worth checking out. The norski’s finger was pointed toward a small, faded red tent, with an LED sign reading ‘FORTUNE TELLER’. There was a set of hands between the words ‘FORTUNE’ and ‘TELLER’ set in a praying motion - it seemed as though the lights were supposed to alternate, making the hands go up and down, but the sign was still. A smaller, wooden sign, staked into the ground, read ‘REAL potions, remedies, and hexes’.

It was all fake, obviously, but this stuff was still pretty fun.

Tord was pushing inside before Tom had the chance to call him stupid - not that he was going to miss his chance, clearly, because he made a surprised choking noise and followed him quickly inside. Matt was next, then Edd, finally, pushed into the now-crowded tent, grunting and glancing around. It was just as small on the inside as it looked on the outside; Maybe moreso, actually, with all the shelves and bookcases cluttered wall-to-wall with bottles and boxes. Seated at a small round table was a woman who, frankly, didn’t look like she belonged there at all. She was a fairly ordinary looking woman, dressed in a black business suit, complete with a pencil skirt and sleek black heels.

“How can I help you gentlemen?” She chirped, brows raising. She asked the question like she was a secretary at a corporate office, and not a supposed ‘fortune teller’ at a backwoods carnival.

“You’re the fortune teller?” Tom asked, the doubt apparent in his voice as he quirked a brow.

“The one and only. What can I get for you today? A reading? A potion, maybe?”

“You have potions?” This time it was Tord that spoke up, pushing past Tom to approach the table, sitting down across from her without delay. “What sort of selection do you carry?”

“She doesn’t have potions, Tord,” Tom snarked. “Potions aren’t real.”

This seemed to tickle the woman, the corners of her lips curling into a coy smile. “You can believe whatever you’d like,” she said calmly, tone light with amusement, “But I can assure you that all of my wares are one-hundred percent the real deal.” She turned her attention toward Tord, gesturing to several bottles laid out in between them both that Edd could have sworn weren’t there a few moments ago. He chalked it up to his own lack of attention. 

“I have truth serums,” She began, lifting a long, thin bottle from the lineup, and shaking it slightly. “One drop of this into someone's drink, and they’ll answer any question honestly. I also have medical cures, things to help you focus, invisibility aids,” The woman continued, picking up different bottles of various sizes. Tom seemed generally unimpressed; Edd, on the other hand, was amazed, brows raised. He’d never seen something like this, even among all the shenanigans he and his friends seemed to find their way into. “Poisons, if you really want, and - ah.” The fortune teller grinned, uncrossing her legs and picking up the smallest bottle in the bunch. It was bright pink, round at the bottom and tapering up into a slim neck. The cork stopping it was a deep red color, and scrawled in gold cursive on the side of the bottle was ‘No. 9’. “This is a best-seller. Our love potion. One-hundred percent satisfaction rate.”

“Alright,” Tom spoke up suddenly, grabbing Matt’s hand, which had been wandering toward a display sword on one of the small tables in the tent. Edd felt a pang of jealousy, which was ignored quickly. “Look, lady, I’m sure your stuff is legit or whatever,” his tone read quite the opposite, sarcasm dripping off his tongue. “But we’re not gonna be buying any of it, okay? Come on, Tord. Edd.” He gestured aggressively for Tord to follow him as he dragged Matt out of the tent, and Tord reluctantly followed.

Edd remained still.

“Hey, I’ll be right out,” Edd said quickly to Tord, swallowing. “I wanna look around a bit more, okay?”

“Whatever.”

Edd watched nervously as Tord left the tent, and then slowly, hesitantly, took a seat across from the woman. This was stupid. Unfathomably, unreasonably stupid. “That...that love potion,” he began awkwardly. “How does it work?”

The woman hummed, picking the bottle up between her fingers and turning it over a few times. The liquid inside sloshed and tinked against the glass walls of the vial, glimmering when the light hit it. “I had a feeling about you,” she stated, almost teasingly. “The ginger, right?” 

Edd’s heart stopped. “H-Hey, I - “

“Relax. I’m not much for gossip. He’s cute, I can tell that you like him.” She hummed, locking eyes with him and raising her brows. “One drop - no more than that, or you’ll regret it - into his favorite drink. I’d say make sure that you’re alone with him when he takes it, or else he’ll just fall for whoever he sees first - we don’t want any messy situations, I’m sure, in a household of four.” She slid it across the table toward him.

Edd bit the inside of his cheek, looking down at the bottle in hesitation. Something like this couldn’t possibly work for real; It was a scam, like any other drugstore prank ‘love potion’. Just packaged more fancily, or whatever.

Of course, if it was fake, it wouldn’t hurt anything to try it...right?

“How much?” Edd asked quietly, eyes darting nervously over to the tent entrance. The fortune teller chuckled, giving a sparkling grin and waving a hand. To be frank, she was much too amused over the situation for Edd’s liking.

“I’ll tell you what, Mr. Gold.”

“How did you know my - ”

“I’ll give it to you for free,” She raised an eyebrow. “Since you seem to be so in doubt of my abilities. And if you ever find yourself in need of more, for whatever reason, you can call my number here,” she slid a business card across the table. Edd picked it up. 

MS. MARY WEST  
Psychic | Fortune-Teller | Potionsmaster  
(959) 589-2048  
-  
Your ticket to joy is just one call away.

“And then we can discuss payment.” Ms. Mary West, apparently, smiled. “Sound good?”

Edd pocketed the business card, nodding quickly. “Erm - y-yeah, sounds great. Thanks so much.” Hesitantly, Edd grabbed the small glass bottle, pocketing it as well, and then turned quickly for the exit.

“About bloody time,” Tom grumbled as Edd pushed through the curtains. “We were about to take off without you. Did you even buy anything?”

Edd took a quick glance toward Matt, who was preoccupying himself with his own fingernails. “No,” he said quickly, hand closing nervously around the bottle in his pocket. “She was just nuts. Or...something.”

“Jesus, we waited that long for nothing?”

“Sorry, mate.”

“Whatever. Let’s just get outta here, yeah? The lights are starting to give me a headache.”

Edd looked up toward Matt again. This time, the ginger looked back, a friendly grin spreading over his face. Edd’s cheeks grew hot, and he smiled back. “Yeah, alright. Let’s head home.”

**Author's Note:**

> next chapter edd like. gives him the drink i just didnt want this first one to b too long 


End file.
